What I've learned in Lawton/Altus Oklahoma

I actually feel sorry for middle America and not in a "I'm better than them and I look down on them and feel sorry" kind of way. I feel sorry for them, I really do.
I have been here twice on business now. I know that is not enough to indict two whole towns, it is enough to know how I feel about them.

FOOD: the food/health/quality of life situation

The moment dawned on me when I attempted to eat some fruit as it was the only safe option on the breakfast buffet. The apples were old and dark red and unappealing. The bananas brown and spotty all over. The mixed fruit was even worse. It was comprised of grapefruit, cantaloupe, honeydew melon, grapes and pineapple. The pineapple was hard in a "I was cut too early and too close to the stem" way. I don't like grapefruit so I skipped that. The cantaloupe was hard. It had been frozen and the freezing sealed it up like an old steak. The honeydew melon looked like the center of the chunks could be edible but I couldn't get past the dark green/brown surrounding it. Finally, only the grapes were edible.

This town has no concept of fresh food. I don't think they've seen any since the 1960s. Everything is shipped from far away. There are no real grocery stores. EVERYONE MUST buy their FOOD ONLY at WAL-MART. There is one fast food place that is unique as they make their own ice cream, possibly other items too, but I never found anyone who would know, and they have a mini-grocery store inside, selling all of their products plus a few green items and healthy juices.
I spoke with my clients here and they confirmed that there are no fresh markets and no farmers markets. They said: "Once every so often you see a guy on the side of the road with his truck and he's selling a few items" in such a disdainful way that you could tell they were afraid to try his stuff so never have.

So, yes, I feel sorry for them and feel sorry for anyone who has to come here. I don't see that TV or any outside influence has spoken to their soul to say there is a bigger world out there. Normally when I go to a client's site and want to get the best food around I ask my clients what their faves are and to be really pointed I ask what is their best restaurant, where they'd go for their anniversary or some special dinner out. Upon driving into this town I could tell I should not bother asking that question. However, my client happened to discuss his marriage of 32 years and I asked if they still celebrated everyone after all these years or just the big ones. He confessed they don't do anything special for any anniversaries and found out that if they do ever go out for dinner they usually go to the fast food/ice cream joint. Yep. Really.

Last night I ordered a pizza to watch the historic election. I cannot remember the last time I had bad pizza but I would venture to guess it was probably Chuck E Cheese's for some party when Josh was little. And Chuck E Cheese's was better. You know that expression about bad pizza and bad sex? It is wrong. Today I asked my client where she goes for good italian food and she said "The Olive Garden in Lawton." That's 55 miles away.

In the one little cafe in town that serves homemade soups, salads and sandwiches, they still use the cheapest ingredients. I had to try to their homemade chicken salad and actually had to stop eating it after one bite and send it back. I found out that in their chicken salad they use chicken (the actual chicken seemed good and there was a good texture to it), sugar, mayonaise and Cool Whip! It tasted like I was eating a meaty textured ambrosia salad on bread. It was bizarre. Last time, when stuck at the airport, I had tuna salad that had Sweet and Lo in it. Then today at lunch with my client he had a salad with his chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes smothered in white gravy. The salad consisted of ice berg lettuce, tomato and cucumber (2 slices of each) which he drenched in French dressing and then heaped salt on it. He said: "I don't much like salads but I'm trying to eat them to make sure I get my 3 servings of fruits and vegetables a day."

This man was raised on a farm back in the 50s and should know better. He works for the county hospital and so should know better. Shouldn't I pity him? Shouldn't I weep for the future? Shouldn't I wonder when I get a better, fresher breakfast at WhataBurger than at my hotel? Whataburger not only has egg, cheese and bacon biscuits but they actually are making their full menu starting at 7 in the am. So, yesterday am I saw 4 guys, probably between 17-20 years old (who told the cashier, "oh, don't mind him. He just got some great sex last night. I should know. I've had to hear all about it this morning" about his goofball friend) eating burgers, spicy bbq chicken sandwiches and fries for breakfast. And I could tell that they had not been up all night, this really was breakfast. They are thin now, but I can assure everyone that they won't be, that no one in this town will be in ten years.

I weep for the future. We will all be paying this town's medical bills.



Education and Entertainment:
I didn't get to experience these as much as I would like but here's what I saw:
There is one bookstore and that is Hastings which sells books, movies, music and rents movies too. In their book section they have TINY sections for non-fiction, history, politics and practical matters. They have BIG sections for Romance, Christian and Pop. But the entire book section could fit into less that just the rentals section for movies. Movies is the big draw. I was the only person I saw buying books and there were only 2 other people in the book section, while the others did have decent numbers.
There is one movie theatre in town. It is showing 8 movies this week on two screens. Two small screens. Their whole building is the size of a typical convenience store that has gas pumps and a car wash.
I don't know anyone who's been there. Everyone told me that the screens are too small and their home screens are almost as big as the theater's, so why go? Thus, everyone is cocooned away from everyone else. I know of no music festivals or even places to go hear either country or western in a live setting. There maybe a hole in the wall bar that has music but I didn't see a banner outside announcing it.

People:
My client is extremely nice to me, but I'm not getting a good vibe from anyone else here, except one lady at the ice cream place. Most people just really seem to have no clue and several seemed antagonistic, demented, stoned or just ready to keel over and die. Quietly and tragically. If you didn't think the Matrix was real, come here and you will find out that they all took the blue pill.

So, what did I learn? I learned that I NEED to live in a town that believes in Farmer's Markets. I need to live in a town that fosters learning about the food/health/quality of life connection. I need to know that I can drive to a restaurant that has a real chef, not just a cook, and that this chef knows how to choose the best quality product and won't settle for less.
I need places that have a sense of community and communal entertainment. I need live music. I need hills! I also learned to appreciate other parts of the country more.
I learned to esteem Tennessee. I never thought I'd say it but TN has a lot of good things going for it: free, progressive press, active people, interesting conversation and lots of co-ops and farmer's markets. I don't think I'll be bad-mouthing TN anymore.

On Reading

Right now I am reading Out Stealing Horses by Per Petterson. It is a translation from the Norwegian.

Generally I don't like translations because you can't pinpoint a problem. Was it the author or the translator? But so far, by page 29, I've only found one problem so I think this one will be ok.

It is sooo hard to have such high standards. I know that my own writing would not survive my own criticism. However, I am not published, so there I draw the line and feel secure in my mediocrity.

Last month's book group book was Water For Elephants and it just did not measure up.

The book was all plot and it started to fall apart half way through. It was the kind of book that if you read it in one sitting just zooming through it because you are on a plane or at the beach, the plot moves you along. The speed actually makes you a happy reader because you aren't going slow enough to examine it. Upon close reading or discussion though one realizes that it just doesn't hold up. It totally frustrates me that this is the kind of book that gets popular and if you say you don't like it, people act like it is your problem, not the book's.
We discussed this in book group. There are a lot of books that if we read them outside of bookgroup, we all agreed that the books would be more enjoyable.

I think that close reading has come to mean being critical and picking it apart. Why can't we just enjoy stuff? Why does reading have to be an exercise? Can't we just have fun? After all, it is supposed to be my fun time.

Well, that's fine, but, that's why we have different genres. If you want to read just for fun, it is not Literature!! Why is that a bad thing? Literature here, (insert name for tosspot) "fun" fiction here.

I know the world will not agree with me, but I know my husband does and I'm sure most professors do.

Shopping hassels

Why oh why can't I find one store that has t-shirts in all cuts, all styles and all colors for god's sake? Is there a conspiracy against chocolate brown t-shirts? Have they pissed the fashion gods off?

I don't see why I can't go to one store, whether on line or a brick and mortar store and just find the v-necks that I want and just scoop up the colors that I want. I'm not asking for anything weird!

Next I decided that I want a light-weight robe, the size and function of a robe but the material of a cotton nightgown. Can't find that one either but I think this is a bit off the worn commercial path and I'm willing to accept this one as me. So, I'll have to learn to sew and do it myself.

Decatur Book Festival

For the second straight year I visited the Decatur Book Festival. http://www.decaturbookfestival.com/2008/index.php

At first thought it sounds like something I should love. Books, food, the energy of Decatur, and great authors coming to ME!
However, this year I did not enjoy it as much as last year.

I'm sure it was mostly me, as this year, there were plenty of authors I wanted to hear/see but none I HAD to see.
Last year I got my wish of hearing Sherman Alexie perform (and yes, that is the best word for him) and afterwards he signed my copy of The Business of Fancydancing. (which I've owned for several years. I think it is important that I've owned it for a long time and didn't buy it that day. This proves I'm sooo hardcore!) Anyway, we chatted for a minute and I got a picture taken with him.
This was pure joy as he seems to be in town for something the day after I leave usually.

This year just didn't have the same energy and had too damn many children. I think it is part that Decatur is changing but mostly that the damn economy is so bad that a lot of people stayed home. That and that the roads in ATL were awful this weekend so if you lived anywhere near Decatur, you pretty much couldn't go anywhere else, so might as well do the cheap thing of taking the family to the street carnival.
Cause that's what it was. It was not literary! It was face painting and rocking chair sales and 4.50 root beer floats with awesome ice cream but root beer that was gone in 2 sips.
But the main problem was that the authors felt rushed. There was some bad scheduling which along with the street carnival atmosphere created this bad vibe. All of the authors had to worry about time and limit themselves in what they could cover to leave time for questions. Usually there was only enough time for 3-4 questions. It was all very odd.

Besides too many kids there were just too many meandering stupid people! I heard two authors speak on what it is like to marry someone from a very different culture and live there and raise a family. One woman is living in Japan with her Japanese family,including her mother-in-law. The other lived in New Zealand with her Maori husband for almost 20 years. Both spoke eloquently on what it is like and the hardships, the rewards, how you don't think like an American anymore, etc. I'm trying to keep the interesting things they said in my head but I keep going back to the retarded comment about raising your kids in a foreign culture one woman asked. She said: "Do your kids know what it is like to be American? I mean, do they do normal American kid stuff and eat normal American stuff like Spaghetti and Meatballs?" UGH.

I did get to hear a living legend though which was the highlight of my day. Amiri Baraka, formerly LeRoy Jones, the former Poet-Laureate of New Jersey, spoke yesterday and he was captivating.http://amiribaraka.com/ He's mainly the reason I started this damn blog that I'm not sure if I want anyone to read yet.
He urged people to get out there and get their voices heard and be truthful. Too many people are waiting to be "discovered" and when they are they are immediately consumed by the commercial capitalist world of publishing. I've always NOT written because a) I was afraid I'd be mediocre and b) intellectually lazy. Baraka helped me see how weak and awful those two things are. He urged us to publish, no matter what, even if it means we do it on the internet and print out at Kinkos--just be authentic.

So, I was grossly unhappy that his time was cut short, I guess due to poor planning, but I am very happy I heard him and have been inspired. We'll see how this stuff all turns out I guess.